I don’t really have an update on anything, but it’s been a while since I posted, so here’s another poem. This poem is called “Breathe”, and it’s the 19th poem in the anthology that I’ve been slowly working on.
BREATHE
Breathe,
Like it’s easy to do,
Breathe,
They don’t know what I’ve been through,
Breathe,
A simple sound of life,
They keep asking if I’m alright,
I’m not, but I’m alive,
A breath is what they ask for,
So that’s what I give,
They wanted me alive,
Okay, that’s it,
It’s all they’ll get,
Until life seems worthy
My smile feels dirty,
The fakeness that,
People easily accept,
No one knows,
How dark my thoughts get,
That I daydream of death,
To let it take hold,
To give me a direction,
To let me behold,
A thing called happiness,
That everyone else seems to have,
I’ve never gotten that memo,
Fuck this is bad.
I don’t see the appeal,
To stay alive,
I’ve lived in darkness my whole life,
So if I’m bitter,
You’ll have to excuse me,
But if you knew,
You’d be bitter too,
The trauma and betrayals,
That litter my life,
From everyone, including blood,
Then you’d know I’m not alright,
But here I breathe,
I’m trying for you,
It should be for me,
But I have no clue,
As to what happiness is supposed to feel like,
I’ve only had short bursts,
I guess it’s alright.
