Poetry’s been way easier to write than my novels lately. Since I can’t give a good update, I thought I’d share another poem I wrote this morning. Been going through some shit both physically and mentally and just needed a creative outlet. I’m sure some of you guys will understand this feeling and might even find the following poem relatable.
Tie My Own Shoes
Every time I make progress,
It all comes undone,
This damn misery,
How long till this round is gone?
This Lithium is a little worse for wear,
Been on her so damn long,
Maybe Lithium doesn’t care,
Maybe she wants me in bed,
Thoughts scatter rapidly in my head,
Of the choices I’ve made,
The poor turns I’ve taken,
I’m sure my mother is mistaken,
To have this child,
Of misery and pain,
That hates everything,
The people are fake,
The doctors want money,
Even the aliens don’t want me,
I swear the dog is the only one that cares,
And the damn creature isn’t even mine to bear,
People say words,
They always do,
They only care that I can tie my own shoes,
And if they say different,
Well, that is a lie,
Let me name the examples throughout my life,
A list of ever-growing names,
More faces to add to the pain,
Insanity is feeling insane,
My thought process is different,
I don’t understand others’ choices,
But who am I to voice it?
Twiddling my thumbs,
I wonder if I should run,
I wouldn’t make it far,
But maybe the thrill will be fun,
This happens every goddamn year,
And every year I swear to get better,
And every year I’m left in tatters,
Can’t afford a hospital bed,
Or be prescribed enough pills to make me dead,
It’s pointless to try,
But I pretend I do,
After all, all I have to do is tie my own shoes,
Then they will magically think I’m okay,
They will ignore my sad looks and tell me to go away.