[Progress on my writing has been gradual, however, I am pleased to share a recently completed poem. The following poem, titled “Landmines,” will be included as the ninth poem in my current poetry anthology.]
Landmines
I’m walking through landmines,
A purpose I don’t know,
There’s a plan, but where is it?
Exploding every few feet,
These landmines aren’t sweet,
Life blowing up,
Every second of everyday,
Full of bad memories,
That won’t go away,
Expectations incredibly low,
I talk to people just for show,
I’d trust a grenade faster than someone with two feet,
This bullshit goes long and deep,
Cant catch a breath,
Or let anyone know,
Just how low is too low?
I’m not the one who should be breathing,
Yet here I am?
The damage is done and yet I still stand,
It would be nice,
To be as blissfully blind as everyone else,
But my brain catches on,
And I need help,
The stress is building,
A landmine is about to blow,
My foot is on the trigger,
My body moving too slow,
And if it blows,
I’ll probably still stand,
But I will still always wish,
That I were a Deadman,
To be free of society,
Of my brains and thoughts,
It’s hard to ignore the blow,
When it comes hard and fast,
It happens all the time,
I wish this wouldn’t last,
But I’m still standing,
Because of whoever is up there,
But I wish they gave me mercy,
For I don’t know how much more I can bare,
But this field of landmines goes too far,
Where is the end?
Is it too late to go back to the start?
Bam!
Another blow,
My brain shreds to pieces,
Yet I sit here sewing,
Hoping the stitches don’t tear,
I need to stay strong,
But it’s hard to bare,
An existence I never asked for,
I cant go back now,
I know there are people out there,
Who are proud of what I survived,
But they are telling that to someone who has lost their mind,
In a miserable state with barely any relief,
Are these landmines worth walking through?
Will I ever find peace?
Trust me I’ll try,
And I’ll try again,
My spirit is fractured,
But it always has been,
So as I sit down,
Don’t ask me if I’m alright,
I’m in a constant war with my mind,
One day my body will fail too,
But I won’t know which landmine I blew.
